Can you believe some of this??

Here are some people with strange names. Believe me they are real names:

Ure A. Pigg (Portland, OR)
Ima Hogg (Houston, TX)
Ima June Bugg (Chicago, IL)
Eura Fisch (Charlotte, NC)
Menna Pause (Indianapolis, IN)
Serious Misconduct (Welwyn, England)
General Error (Pueblo, CO)
Dr. Safety First (Tulsa, OK)
Pearl Harbor (Birmingham, AL)
Honor Roll (Birmingham, AL)
E. Pluribus Eubanks (San Francisco, CA)
Wil C. Cuntz (Ridgecrest, CA)
C. Matthews Dick (Newport, RI)
Rusty Slutz (Nashville, TN)
Jeep Hardon (Anchorage, AK)
Peter Sweat (Hilliard, OH)
Anita Mann (Milwaukee, WI)
Betty Sukut (Luxembourg, WI)
Chris B. Bacon (Seattle, WA)
Ken U. Digit (Auburn Hills, MI)
Yung Gzym (Davenport, FL)
Harry Sack (Mount Kisco, NY)
Eileen Dover (San Fransisco, CA)
Ernest Titman (Middleown, NY)
Mike Rotch (Jackson, AL)
Bung Holio (Augusta, GA) - Beavis would love this...
Tex Satan (Norman, OK)
Carrie Shitty (Gaffney, SC)
Harry Bush (Waco, KY)
Dick Head (Bellevue,WA)

OK try this game out... it's just like MADLIBS (remember that game??)

OK... this list is not to gross you out of existence. It just shows the ingenuitty and/or desperation of people after toking down on some excellent doobage:

ACTUAL FOODS EATEN DURING A (MARIJUANA) MUNCHIE ATTACK:

Pickles dipped in sour cream
Peanut butter and bacon sandwiches
Cold tomato soup on untoasted bread
Chile peppers straight out of a Texas Pete® pepper sauce bottle
Chocolate syrup... straight out of the bottle
Spooned-out grape jelly (from the jar)
Cheese Whiz® on Oreo® cookies
Mashed potatoes on lettuce leaves *
Corned beef hash... unheated
Maple syrup and apple sauce sandwich
Ice chips in strawberry syrup *
Very stale Whitman's® chocolates
Half-cooked onion rings (which were also freezer-burned)
Jalapeño-flavored Jelly Belly® jelly beans
Altenating salsa and peanut butter dipped on potato chips

If you have a munchie story, please send them to the Nationwide Cloud R&D department.

Anyone interested in body preservation should read this...

A SHORT SUMMARY ON HOW TO FOSSILIZE YOURSELF

Arrange to have your remains placed on a steep south-facing hillside during winter in the high arctic tundra.
See that said remains are protected from predators until frozen solid.
Wait.

Or you could go for freeze-drying... I'll just stick to burial or cremation.

Eat a lot of beans and read this...

There once was a man who lived in France around the turn of the century called Le Petomaine, which in English means The Fartiste. That's right boys and girls.

He found out at a young age that he could suck 2 liters of water into his rectum through a rubber tube. Soon he perfected sound and intensities of his flatulations. He went on the vaudeville circuit and made a fortune. Some of his sounds included: playing a short tune, the sound of a woman the night before her honeymoon (near silent), the sound of the same woman the next day (loud and raucous), and more. At the end of his life he became a baker and never performed his act again.

I wonder if he entertained the public in other ways... (nudge nudge, wink wink...)

I'm going to warn you to not have eaten anything before you read this fact

Now you know people all around the world will eat just about anything, but I think this takes the cake (no food pun intended). There aare reports of people who eat... placentas. Chowing down on placenta doesn't happen that often, but it does, which makes one wonder what else these people are doing in theier spare time. This much is known:

A physician who has attended roughly over 700 home births in the San Fransisco Bay area had only one experience where the birthing party made a stew out of placenta, which contained potatoes and onions. The doctor did not eat any, but the party ate it. His observations showed that the stew smelled like strong liver, and the people eating did not look like they were enjoying themselves. One woman became nauseated.
In Hygieia: A Woman's Herbal (1978), Jeannine Parvati exclaims the joys of eating it: The feeling of it being alive, slicing it, sautéing it in garlic and oil, and the enjoyment of eating it. Needless to say, she claims to have never eaten it again.
There is a recipe for placenta pizza. It goes as:
1. Grind placenta.
2. Saute in 2T olive oil w/4 garlic cloves, then add 1/4 tsp. fennel, 1/4 tsp. pepper, 1/4 tsp. paprika, 1/4 tsp. salt, 1/2 tsp. minced onion, 1/2 tsp. oregano, 1/4 tsp. thyme, and 1/4 cup of wine.
3. Allow to stand 30 mins., then use your favorite pizza recipe.

I don't think any of these great food idea will go over well at any dinner party.

Let's see if any of the male homo sapiens out there
would attempt these acts

Case 1 - A 60-year-old man said that he was changing the plug of his Hoover Dusterette vacuum cleaner in the nude while his wife was out shopping. It 'turned itself on' and caught his penis, causing tears around the external meatus... Multiple lacerations of the glans were repaired with catgut.
Case 2 - A 65-year-old railway signalman was in his signaling boxwhen he bent down to pick up his tools and 'caught his penis in a Hoover Dusterette, which happened to eb switched on.' He suffered extensive lacerations to the glans.
Case 3 - A 49-year-old man was vacuuming his friend's staircase in a loose-fitting robe, when, intending to switch the machine off, he leaned across to reach the plug; 'at that moment his robe became undone and his penis was sucked into the vacuum cleaner.'

Now don't get me wrong.
These fellas could've been minding their own business,
just cleaning away, and tripped...
yeah, right!
I'm sure the M.D.'s were outside of the patient's rooms
laughing their asses off.

(Some of the info from The Straight Dope book series and website, authored by Cecil Adams)

If you know of any other tasty tidbits, please send them to the Nationwide Cloud R&D department

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