will give you rock-hard washboard abs and firmer tighter buns in just 8 minutes a day!
has been sanitized, sterilized and satirized for your protection.
must be heated in a 350° F oven for 20-25 minutes or until golden brown.
will self-destruct in 5 seconds!
may burn the skin and eyes under prolonged exposure.
will soon be made into a motion picture...
protects from harmful UV rays wth the strength of SPF 5,000,000,003.
may place the viewer in a catatonic state.
This site IS:
recommended by Ed! (That Stubborn Fifth Dentist!)
high in fiber, low in saturated fats, cholesterol free, and a proven fat burner.
fortified with eight essential vitamins and iron! (it's part of this complete breakfast)
loaded with extras, like leather bucket seats, AM/FM Stereo with 5-disk CD changer, cup holder, vanity mirror, moonroof and riding cap and sunglasses.
MSG-free!
finger-licking good!
for lease with an option to buy.
much like space-time: not only is it warped, but completely bent.
kissably smooth and soft like a baby's behind.
multi-orgasmic!
good for gettin' yer groove on...
better than Viagra!
faster than a speeding bullet... more powerful than a locomotive... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...
up for auction at Sotheby's. Start the bids at £10,000 please!
viewable with 3-D glasses!
excellent for tuning your guitar.
the only tool you'll ever need around the house!
This site is NOT:
for use when coming to a sudden and complete stop in a jet car on the Bonneville salt flats.
for smoking out of a hash pipe or water bong.
able to set if pineapple and/or kiwi fruit is used in the mold.
a substitute for toilet paper.
for use on the internet.
libel for any damage caused to fingers on your "mouse" hand. Click at your own risk.
taking bills under $100.
redeemable in states where prohibited.
So now enjoy the site. And one more thing... whatever you do... DO NOT CLICK on the "Push Me" button here at the bottom of the page no matter how tempting.
