Guru Gibby is the omnipotent partner of Mr. Nationwide. Seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators... the maniac brainiac... he knows all and sees all. Any question you may ask he will have an answer for.
You were having a slight Ren and Stimpy-type dream... but you didn't eat the bars of soap... too bad.
Look... this is your brain's way of telling you, "TAKE A FUCKING BATH YOU STINKY MORON!!!" And the notes were little less shocking remimnders to do so OK??
Why does my friend always put her left breast in my face?
(Jo Bob - Hell, MI)
Another Bob?? Sheesh...
Quite possibly because you neglected it by favoring the right breast. But there are other possibilties to look into:
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
(Vail - Terre Haute, IN)
Well... I have some disturbing news Vail... I am the ultimate God... God is second to me!! I am number one motherfucker!! And what I say goes... I see whatever the hell I want when I take acid, OK?? And when you I trip acid I make YOU see whatever the hell I want to... so don't piss me off.
What does Geronimo say after he jumps out of an airplane?
(Bobbo - Scottsdale, AZ)
Geronimo jumping out of an airplane? You've got to be kidding. He was alive before airplanes were invented, buttbrain! But on the hypothesis that he would be alive in today's world, he would yell "MEEEE!!!"
Is Jennifer wearing pants?
(Gibby - Roanoke, VA)
If this is the Jennifer I'm familiar with, she is for the time being. Later when we get together... well, just use your imagination (hopefully it will involve bondage).
Why is my boyfriend's weiner so small?
(Sheila - Tulsa, OK)
Questions like this deserve a smack in the face to those who ask it,
but just allow me to elaborate on several reasons why your beau's
penis seems diminutive:
One last note... people with small penises are like the rest of us: they need love, too.
Is Ben gay?
(Alan - Baltimore, MD)
Yes... and his last name is Dover.
Ther's something hairy and green growing in my refrigerator. What should I do?
(Jackie - New York, NY)
Jackie, anytime you encounter a new lifeform, you have to follow the rules of the Prime Directive - do not interfere with a civilization in any way That will unnaturally accelerate their technology or shock their society. So wait till it gets to big to observe safely, the call Area 51 where they know how to control situations that involve other lifeforms - they cover it up and try to dispose of anyone who gets nosy.