THE "F-WORD"

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "Fuck". Out of all the words that start with the letter F, it is the only word that is referred to as the "F-Word". It is an etymological enigma… a word which just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, love and hate. "Fuck" as many words in the English Language are derived form the German word "Flikken", which means to strike. In the English language, "Fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a transitive verb for instance, (Dick fucked Jane). As an intransitive verb, (Jane fucks). Its meaning is not always sexual, it can be used as an adjective such as, (Dick is doing all the Fucking work). As part of an adverb, (Jane talks too fucking much). As an adverb enhancing an adjective, (Jane is Fucking beautiful). As a noun, (I don't give a Fuck). As part of a word, (Abso-Fucking-Lutely) or (In-Fucking-Credible). It can also be used as almost every word in a sentence such as, (Fuck the Fucking Fuckers). As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of the word "Fuck" as in these examples describing situations such as:

Greetings ~~ How the fuck are you!
Fraud ~~ I got fucked by the car dealer.
Trouble ~~ Well, I guess I'm fucked now.
Confusion ~~ What the fuck...?
Retaliation ~~ Up your fucking ass!
Denial ~~ I didn't fucking do it.
Suspicion ~~ Who the fuck are you?
Directions ~~ Fuck off.
Chronology ~~ It's Five-Fucking-Thirty!
Business ~~ I hate this fucking job.
Oedipal ~~ Motherfucker.
Resigned ~~ Oh fuck it.
In Panic ~~ Let's get the fuck out of here!
Despair ~~ Fuck it I'm fucked again.
Aggressive ~~ Don't Fuck with me, or I'll fuck you up buddy!
Displeased ~~ What the fuck is going on here?
Apathetic ~~ Well who gives a fuck anyway?
In Disbelief ~~ How the fuck did you do that?
Defiant ~~ The fuck you can!
Incompetence ~~ He fucks everything up.
In Difficulty ~~ I can't understand this fucking business.
Displeased ~~ What the fuck is going on here?
Ignorant ~~ Fucked if I know.
Hopeless ~~ I'm fucked!
Lost ~~ Where the fuck are we?
Disgust ~~ Fuck me.
Propositional ~~ Hey babe, wanna fuck?
Political ~~ Fuck Bill Clinton / Newt Gingrich!

And these are situations in which we use the verbatim of our forefathers and mentors:

"It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso
"Why? - Because its fucking there!" - Edmund Hilary
"I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?" - Joan of Arc
"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy
"Let the fucking woman drive." - Commander of Space Shuttle Challenger
"Where the fuck is all that water coming from?" - Captain of the Titanic
"Look at all these fucking Indians!" - General Custer
"Heads are going to fucking roll!" - Henry VIII
"Watch him, he'll have some fucker's eye out." - King Harold
"Can you smell fucking gas?" - Captain of the Hindenburg
"That's not a fucking real gun." - John Lennon
"Who's going to fucking know?" - President Nixon
"Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Albert Einstein
"What the fuck was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima
"How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras
"You want what on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo
"Fuck a duck." - Walt Disney
"Scattered showers my fucking ass!" - Noah
"Pick up the fuckin' phone!" - E.T.
"I can't breathe in this fucking thing!" - Darth Vader
"Fuck I'm hungry!" - Ghandi!
"I didn't fuck her!" - Bill Clinton

With all these multipurpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? I say embrace and use this unique flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately.

Oh also as an addendum, I took it upon myself to expand upon the idea from George Carlin to substitute the word "fuck" for the word "kill" in all those movie clichés:

"Stop me before I fuck again!"
"The mad fucker is still on the loose..."
"OK Sheriff, we're gonna fuck ya now, but we're gonna fuck ya slow."
"Why I oughtta fuck you dammit!"
"Easy on the clutch Dave you'll fuck the engine again."
"She was shot and fucked last night boss."
"Damn that guy fucks me, he's so funny."
"FUCK THE UMP! FUCK THE UMP!"

Say it Loudly and Proudly, "Fuck you!"

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